Lovelle Svart - Living to the End - The Oregonian

Lovelle: Overview video

admin — Wed, 10 Oct 2007 19:14:50 +0000

A recap of Lovelle’s 27 video diary entries

Lovelle Svart’s video diary entries touched on topics ranging from the need to talk about death and dying to the difficulty of saying goodbye to friends, from why she kept smoking to what you say to a person who has cancer. She recorded 27 videos between July 17, 2007 and Sept. 28, 2007. This single video seeks to capture at least the range of her diary entries.

September 28, 2007 - “I feel so at peace”

admin — Sat, 29 Sep 2007 19:26:06 +0000

Lovelle Svart made a video diary entry less than an hour before she took the medication that would end her life.

She spoke after a day of personal goodbyes, storytelling and music.

“I feel so at peace,” she said. “I’ve had such a good time with friends. Today has been so wonderful.

“I danced the polka. I danced the polka. I didn’t just get to hear the music, I danced it.”

— Don Colburn

September 24, 2007 - Life

admin — Tue, 25 Sep 2007 23:38:32 +0000

Lovelle Svart’s cancer symptoms got the best of her this week. Intensifying pain, weakness, shortness of breath and stomach problems.

More strongly than ever, she is considering ending her life by taking the drug overdose that her doctor prescribed at her request under the Oregon Death With Dignity Act.

Lovelle says she wishes to die before her symptoms overwhelm her — while she has “a little peace, a tiny bit of freedom” left.

“That’s when I want to go.”

— Don Colburn

September 20, 2007 - Friends

admin — Tue, 25 Sep 2007 22:42:40 +0000

Visits from close friends these days are bittersweet for Lovelle Svart, because she knows she may never see them again.

And as she nears death, Lovelle knows she won’t be able to say goodbye personally to all the people in her wide circle of friends and coworkers. “I don’t have time or energy,” she says.

A glib group farewell — “Love you all!” — won’t do, she says. “I love them in different ways.”

— Don Colburn

September 20, 2007 - Brave?

admin — Tue, 25 Sep 2007 22:42:26 +0000

When Oregonian readers or online viewers call Lovelle Svart “brave,” as many have in written comments responding to her video diaries, she scoffs.

“I’m not brave,” she says. “I’m simply not.”

Lovelle says she made a personal decision to speak out publicly about dying in general and her own death in particular, including the possibility she will choose to end her life with a lethal drug dose she acquired under the Oregon Death With Dignity Act.

Her speaking out on such a passionate and personal topic has been less burdensome for her than for her family, she says.

“I chose to do this,” she says. “They didn’t choose it.”

— Don Colburn

September 20, 2007 - Seeing Things / Pain

admin — Tue, 25 Sep 2007 22:42:03 +0000

Whether from the cancer or the medications she takes, or both, Lovelle Svart occasionally sees “things that aren’t there” — shadowy shapes, “like an animal or a person moving” across her line of sight.

Not a ghost or a poltergeist, she says with a laugh.

“It’s not something that scares me at all,” she says. “It has just made me wonder.”

— Don Colburn

On the classic 1-to-10 scale of patient-rated pain, Lovelle Svart says she’s a pretty constant “7.”

But when she tries to swallow food, the pain shoots up to “10″ — like broken glass in her throat, she says.

At first, Lovelle resisted taking morphine, fearing that it would cloud her mind and make her drowsy. But last weekend, as the pain from her cancer became unbearable, she turned to the potent drug for relief.

Every few hours, she draws tiny doses of liquid morphine into an eye-dropper and squirts it underneath her tongue.

— Don Colburn

September 13, 2007 - “Faster than I want”

admin — Wed, 19 Sep 2007 04:33:16 +0000

“I know that I have to be very careful, and slow down, because I still have time to make things happen…. closer to how I want them to happen.”

No matter how long it takes to die with a terminal illness — and Lovelle Svart has known for nearly five years that she has inoperable lung cancer — running out of time comes as a shock.

“Things are whizzing by,” Lovelle says. “I’m going faster than I want to be going.”

But even with intensifying symptoms — including fatigue and shortness of breath — she’s still working on her life. “I still have time to make things happen.”

— Don Colburn

September 13, 2007 - Looking Back

admin — Wed, 19 Sep 2007 04:23:01 +0000

“I wanted to get out of…little old provincial Portland”

“I took some very, very bumpy paths.”

“Into my life walks an Australian…They’ll get you every time.”

“We decided the only way we could get out of this was to do what both of us had said we would never do, and that was to get married.”

“I was constantly learning…That’s my life.”

September 10, 2007 - Grief

admin — Wed, 12 Sep 2007 03:41:29 +0000

“I don’t think you can tell other people how to ‘do’ grieving. I think you can help them with their grieving by holding their hand… I think you can do that… and once more, I think you can listen.”

September 10, 2007 - Visitors

admin — Wed, 12 Sep 2007 03:40:02 +0000

“I still get a lot of drop-in visitors who just don’t get that’s not a cool thing to do. A lot of those people, thank God, have used their common sense and have just left something outside the door.”